Unintended by Kyra Lennon

Author:Kyra Lennon [Lennon, Kyra]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2019-10-07T18:30:00+00:00

As I walked into Evie’s house, I still felt a bit uneasy. I couldn’t stop thinking about how much she’d done for me. Sitting with me on Christmas Day, Boxing Day, visiting every day and bringing me stuff until I was released from hospital. Even coming back to the flat with me. That shouldn’t have been on her, but she did it without a second thought. But this? Her offering me her spare room? I hadn’t expected that. It seemed like too much. More than I should have taken from her.

But I couldn’t stop thinking about that one thing. Being alone. I knew I’d have to face it at some point. I wasn’t trying to avoid it forever, but my thoughts. They were dangerous. They’d drifted back to Natalie way more than they should have when I was lying in a hospital bed, and even though I was still so angry with her for everything, that nagging voice in my mind wouldn’t quit. It kept telling me everything that had happened was down to me. It kept telling me that I needed her, and that without her, my life would be shit.

I was pretty sure she had said those words to me many times. It was always her voice I heard in my head. If I was left alone, then what? Would I let that voice take over? Would I go back?

I liked to think I wouldn’t have been so stupid, but the fact was, I just wasn’t used to being without her. Leaving the flat had been a relief, but at the same time, it was familiar. Not the good kind, but sometimes, the things you know, however bad, are better than being cut adrift with no idea what to do next.

When Evie had asked me to stay, I’d given her all my reasons why I shouldn’t. Sometimes I wondered if she thought I was as pathetic as Natalie did. Always with the excuses. And with every excuse, I wondered if Evie thought I was protesting too much, pretending I didn’t want to go when I really did. Because second guessing my every word and thought was what I did best.

From what I knew of Evie, I guessed she took things at face value. And more than that, she seemed to understand how my mind worked, probably because she’d been in the same kind of position once. Wanting help but not knowing how to ask. Feeling lonely, but not knowing how to fix it.

“Are you okay?” Evie asked, and I realised I’d frozen by the closed door, right in front of it in the hallway.

I blinked, gripping onto my suitcase and hoping I’d find my way back to reality soon, before Evie took me back to the hospital and re-admitted me.

“I am,” I said. “Just… it’s been a long day.”

She nodded. “I know. You want another cup of tea before I show you around?”

“Please.”

I needed to thaw out a bit anyway. It was cold outside, but Evie’s house was warm.

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